#posting this more for myself lol
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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played DA2 for the first time and romanced the possessed bisexual poor little meow meow who's totally down for firebombing a walmart
#handers#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age anders#marian hawke#dragon age hawke#I FINALLY played through the entire thing! after so many times starting and then getting bored lol#I have genuine trouble deciding if I like Origins or Inquisition best but 2 is definitely on the bottom for me lol 🥲#but I do like Anders :)#I want more of this miserable little man#also I'm never sure anymore whether I wanna post single pictures or sets of them. idk#all the other DA stuff I've been drawing lately has been Origins stuff. or memes. so this doesn't really fit? so#seems like it should be by itself?#idk idk idk idk idk#anyway I've been doing lots of loose sketchy stuff and experimenting with brushes and it's been nice :)#trying my best to just...... be softer on myself#my art#description in alt text
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Since I'm almost done working on em here's my demolition lovers costumes so far!
I started this in like mid/late March I believe
This is my first time doing beading ever, I probably should have started with something smaller or even tested on some scrap but I am nothing if not stupidly ambitious.
I wanna say this is roughly 14hours of work so far, I still want to add more to the dress and possibly make some accessories, we will see what I can get done by Saturday lol
#goin to the helena church Saturday for ghouls day out :]#i had this idea for so long i cant believe im actually doing it#i wanted to talk abt it SO BADLY but i didn't want someone to steal the idea and finish before me lol#i started with the dress and i can absolutely tell so im gonna go back over some parts#id show the side/back of the dress more but i cant close it properly in the back by myself lol#mcr#my chemical romance#demolition lovers#demolition lovers cosplay#my posts
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the wall between us
redraw of this illustration series i made back in 2019. i'd say i've improved lol.
#ml#lovesquare#ladrien#adrienette#ladynoir#marichat#redraw#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#chat noir#ladybug#marienette dupain cheng#mine#my art#my fanart#my ml fanart#mozzydraws#one of the biggest ways i've grown as an artist since i made the original post five years ago is with backgrounds#now just the quality of the bgs (tho that's obvs also important haha)#but honestly just the fact that i DO bgs like. at all#that was a huge huuuuuge chasm for me to bridge for myself#i lacked knowledge about creating backgrounds yeah#but i think the biggest thing was confidence!#now when i do bgs i go into the piece with a fierce determination#and with the desire to grow and improve with each illustration#so i feel so much more confident calling myself a character ILLUSTRATOR now#because i can put my characters into believable environments#that enhance the audience's experience/emotional connection to the piece#long ramble sorry lol
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mspaint commissions !!!! all 16 of 'em!!
#my art#mspaint#commissions#comm#dog#cow#dragon#maid#raptor#pooltoy#furry#anthro#oc#fursona#cute#idunno wat to tag i am so happy to see all of them together#i am taking a break immedietly after posting these but im really proud of myself for getting so many out so fast#and ty to everyone who commed me so far <3333 i was able to like. ACTUALLY shop for myself for the first time in a hot minute yesterday#and its really nice to. eat and feel a lil more financially stable lol#i'll probably take a ffeewww more of these#if anyones interested!#FINFIN#oh my god i cant believe i almost forgot to tag finfin...............#alligator#bear#monkey#cat#woo#wooowowowowooowowow#< imagine a dog making that noise
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sketches of ark's werewolf form except based on the designs of some other funny dogs i like
#OC#ark#werewolf#i have not known a moments peace in the last several weeks so i sketched these for myself to stave off insanity#i also started sketching a bloodborne one but it felt too similar to the varcolac so#maybe i will finish that sketch later if i do more of these#i find the van helsing design kind of basic in general but i would be lying if i said it wasnt hot as hell#my favorite dogs are the ones where its clearly a human face pushed out into a snout. so the nose is still human#that's gascoignes lasting legacy. my beloved#i think in terms of tv/film werewolves the being human one is leagues above most other designs ive seen also. i luv u rat dogs#sketches#posted at 2am for your convenience lol
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maknae line + gestures of love 🫰🏼💋🫶🏼🌹🤟🏼 happy birthday @jkvjimin! ♡
#jungkook#jungkook*#tae#taehyung*#jimin#jimin*#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#userpat#underbetelgeuse#trackofthesoul#usersevn#annietrack#usersky#usersan#usermaggie#*gifs#comp#happy birthday darling pat!!!#just a reminder that me and vminkook love you!#i hope you have the best day full of even more love than this bc you deserve it#you put so much of it out into the world yourself that it should only ever come back to you tenfold#i actually made something kinda cohesive?! at least in the first half...feels like it loses its steam a bit after the 10th gif lol#this was only supposed to be 12 gifs but i had more time to keep it going so it ended up being 18 whoops#this is scheduled so i hope it's posting at the proper time (zone ahem)#ALSO at first i arranged this in their age order but i switched jimin and jk's place so it would spell out jk + v + jimin like your url :)#i hope you like this! i'm kinda jealous even tho i made it lol it's quite pretty if i do say so myself#yes i put a heart overlay on the gifs against a white bg to keep the color scheme going..idk i TRIED#p.s. to anyone seeing this and thinking you can't rb it bc it's dedicated to pat for her bday....WRONG! PLEASE REBLOG IT IF YOU LIKE IT! ty
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ngry
#karkat vantas#homestuck#art#my art#homestuck fanart#last drawing of the night#wish i could do more but#itll have 2 wait#posting 2 stop myself from working on it more lol....#this drawing session has enlightened me 2 the power of basic round bursh...#all these have been one layerdrawings#its a pretty fun process#gonna have 2 try iy out in photoshop 2 at some point
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"You're my guys....Those other toys, they don’t…spark joy."
#my first gif lol#it's really rough. and as u can see by me posting this at 2AM it um. was a struggle heh#there were a lot more scenes i wanted to include but coloring the frames took forever so i had to cut it short#but basically. chuck loves to watch them sufferrrr#putting those guys in situations and watching them squirm#also i kept it mostly dean centric bc he's chuck's favorite doll#i was also going to end it on dean's death but. i could not bring myself to screenshot that so. despair ending so true. that's the last ep#spnsept24#myedits#mygifs
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does anyone else ever feel like they never Fit In fandom spaces like. sure i create stuff SOMETIMES but i feel like such an outsider in the fandom and idk why asdkfsakdf
#this might be because i dont really create stuff much#i just kind of hop in eveyr now and then and post#mayb if i actually wrote more fics and drew more art i'd feel more...involved...idk#LOL idk#i want to have more friends in the ml fandom but i am just. so so bad at talking to people#and i am not in any discord servers besides the one i made myself#mostly bc i dont know where to find them#also bc im afraid ppl just think I'm weird or annoying or off-putting sjfsjdfs#it's the tism#text post
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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croco art
#one piece#sir crocodile#monkey d luffy#crocodad au#my art#described in alt text#drew the first one in september. second from rn and nearly made myself cry drawing it lol#first one i was thinking about long hair and a more relaxed croc in a more casual fit#i love the one where's he's holding the glass it has such a vibe. hope i can draw smth like this again#i also. forgot about the first one like the previous post
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out of your friends which are you?! (skilltobers 13, 15, 16, 17, 18)
#my art#GODDD#disco elysium#animation#skilltober#skilltober 2024#disco elysium skills#de shivers#de half light#de endurance#de physical instrument#de electrochemistry#de fanart#high effort posting i BUSTED MY ASS FOR THIS#i never animate. which i think you can tell#i might toss the stills and animations and stuff as jpegs and gifs in a reblog later but before that some design details!#couldnt design half light exactly how i wanted but i needed him to look unsettling. Lol#he's naked. he's vulnerable. he is an exposed nerve. he is the walking talking “bite them before they bite you because they have before”#so...a little bit peeled looking lol. tall and gangly and spindly but hunched over to look animalistic and threatening#i didnt want to kill myself doing all the markings on every frame but he's got eyespots!#nature's way of mimicking something more powerful than you (generalization idgaf about peacocks)#and his bones are marked out right beside them. but dont pay attention to them just pay attention to those eyes. dont hurt this guy#idk if im getting it across in a way that makes sense#but yeah. digitigrade because he deserves it#i dont have much to say abt the others theyre pretty generic#bye bye i need to draw threshold tomorrow#fanart
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OTHER THAN A VAMPIRE OBVS i think he would be a hamster! not bc i think that's what he would dress up as for halloween, but bc that's what i want him to dress up as for halloween :) lmao here's also a bonus doodle of him dressed as a bat <3 bc i think he's cute <3
#tho a more serious answer would be like. maleficent or cthulhu or something lol#gundham drawn in a hamster costume of sorts has been done a billion times already but shush. its my turn now#the devas got little costumes too i couldnt help myself uwu#anyways happy early halloween to you anon i am posting this at midnight ☠#gundham tanaka#danganronpa#gundhamronpa#ari art#ask draw
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Okay people, I need to talk about IDOL!Shen Yuan AU before I explode (aka slight Aggretsuko inspired office au…..)
I’ll try to make this short for once jdvfhbjdhbvdf, but basically SY has been (forcefully) made to work for his brother(SJ) in the family company, after SJ decided enough was enough, and SY was going to do something with his life besides rotting away in his bed whether he liked it or not. The thing is, he wasn’t (just) rotting in bed reading atrocious novels, but he also took some time to experiment with music as a hobby, and over time, he grew a small following.
Though, after he was dragged to work at SJ’s side, the ever boring of dealing with paperwork and staring at white walls was eating at him. It’s not like he struggled doing his job, in fact, he was quite good at it, but he wasted no effort to make it very clear that he did not like that he was there in the first place. So, in an act of rebellion and to just do SOMETHING other than feel every passing second of the day in a cubicle, he decided to work even harder in his music hobby. It eventually led to SJ finding out and sparing no words to say that SY needed to focus on his real job, which only made SY brat out even harder, even managing to find an alternative music club and booking a few performances.
It went great! More people showed up than he expected, and all went great, but since his health was still not the best, after that he basically spent a whole month crashed out, not being able to do any more performances and barely able to go to the office once a week.
Anyways, it all led to SY thinking he had proved SJ right that he couldn’t continue this life style, and even thinking about quitting it, but one day while he was scrolling on the comments on one of his MVs (aka a Fancy Lyric Video), one of the comments mentioned that SY was one of the most important influences for that person, and that it inspired them to start pursuing music. It was the first time he had received a comment of that nature, and it lit the fire of his motivation back up.
Some 2 years passed, SJ still kept SY at the office, but SY had reached a nice balance on his online music work and performances on that club, and as his popularity grew, his performances at that one club had almost turned into a whole event for his most dedicated fans. So, enter Luo Binghe:
He was that comment that SY had read, and he did want to try music after being a fan of SY’s for almost three years now, but due to his financial situation he desperately needed some other source of income first. Now, at his last year of college, he managed to get an internship onto the Shen family’s company, which was a huge step forward towards his dreams, unfortunately he just had to go under SJ, which as we all know, was never kind to Binghe, instead acting as if the boy should just give up the internship entirely. And Binghe did think about it, but it seemed as if the stars had aligned for Binghe at least once, and SJ, after getting a sudden influx of work, delegated Binghe to SY.
They got on quite well, and Binghe even grew to have a little crush on SY, but it was all going fine and great until one fateful day. The office was as boring as ever, and after SY let Binghe know they wouldn’t have to entertain any clients for the day, Binghe decided to work on his part while listening to some music of his favorite artist.
Binghe has an awful habit of listening to music worryingly loud, so when SY went to get him to explain his new task, he ended up listening to what Binghe was hearing: his own music, in fact, his newest song. He pondered telling Binghe about the coincidence, but decided that maybe would be overstepping some professional boundary, and instead told Binghe about his one music club SY had heard about…
Binghe, excited to get to know more places around the area (and maybe understanding what SY did in his free time), decided to go to the club the next week after work, and did not even think about checking who would be performing in the day he would visit. Imagine his surprise when he gets to the door of the music club and hears some awfully famíliar music, and after rushing to be as close to the stage as possible, besides being blinded by his favorite artist’s greatness, also noticed that, hey, the artist looked an awful lot like a certain coworker of his….
Anyways, shenanigans ensue, Binghe starts his own investigation on SY possibly being the artist, SY juggling his office life, music career, and SJ perhaps coming to accept his brother’s career, and even maybe revealing a bit about his own past with music performances.
That’s all I had for today, just wanted to release this into the world! If anyone wants to expand on this, or try their on take on it, feel more than free to! Here are some more doodles of the usual day at the office :)
#had to stop myself from yapping away#the aggretsuko inspiration comes more in the way I think sy could go all out on the metal screams lol#binghe is probably gonna become an idol later#svsss#shen yuan#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#bingyuan#drabble#long post#digital art#doodles
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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